As a child I was raised by two drug addicted parents. We were poor even though my father sold drugs well he wasn’t ever around. He sold drugs more so to support his habit and of course that was in small time frames when he wasn’t in prison. I suffered emotional, mental, physical and sexual abuse along the way. I became what I was raised and new. I started at 12 selling weed that didn’t last long I turned into a full time sold every drug; drug dealer and was also involved in a prostitution ring. I was in and out of jail. A high school drop out. I was turing into everyone I had known and was raised by.
I started to look for something different. There had to be more to life than this right? Of course. I met the man who would soon become my husband. He wasn’t really my type but hey I was looking for change and different right? I found God. My husband didn’t like this at all but I was searching for something more. Something bigger. After giving my life to God, I was no longer a drug dealer or involved in anything illegal or that brought conviction up on me. I went back and got my GED and I was a college student! In 2011 out of no where I was frozen in panic, I was battling anxiety daily. My once perfect in my eyes husband was abusive. Only now I had lost my back bone. That once confident bold people loving people person was all opposite of that. I divorced my husband who was sitting in prison he was looking at 28 years that a long story for another time. There were many other losses and things going on in my life. To make a long story shorter and get to the point. Since then I have isolated myself from the world. I pretty much spend/spent all my time in my house.
I woke up and I said this is it. Today is the day I do something different. I have been isolated for about 6 years. The current things once used for comfort sometimes become monsters in my life. I am completely broken down and in a pit that I am so ready to crawl out of it! I am 330 pounds. I barely leave my house for any reason at all. So this is like for the purpose of my own accountability as well as maybe finding people who struggle with the same things as me and or people who don’t struggle like me but find some sort of motivation or support team!
I will be working on losing the weight. Getting back into college I have 7 classes left before I have my degree! I will be working on getting out of the house more. Talking more openly about my feelings thoughts and struggles! This blog I pray is going to be my self help!
Fat Girl's; Real Talk 